It’s said that as we age everything diminishes except our waistline. Yet no matter how old we get, we remain sexual beings. I’m a forty-six year old divorced single male with no children. My upbringing was conservative in values and bereft of girls. I went to an all-boys grade school and middle school, had no childhood girlfriends and no sisters. I didn’t start dating until I was in college. My dearth of contact with the opposite sex during childhood has made me curious ever since.
Sex is part of who we are. And because we live in a society that uses sex to sell everything from perfume to paper clips, it creates a real tension when we feel we no longer “have it”. For many women that “it” is a function of how they look. We all lose youthful beauty as we age - men and women. But women have it tougher than men. Men don’t have to integrate the loss of their fertility into their sexual identify till much later in life. Men don’t have the physical changes of menopause. Men aren’t held to the same standards of sexual attractiveness as they age.
"I finally love myself the
way I am."
"I love how I look and I love
all that is around me."
"...I was already so wild and open sexually,
I didn’t think I could have more...
Turns out I was so, so wrong.
At forty I feel renewed in some ways,
like I’m past the really difficult stuff."
"My sexual fire is as strong as ever,
but now lies underneath the surface.
It is unnecessary to show it to everyone."
"I feel one with water
in a state of grace.
poised, buoyant, fully alive,